Greetings and welcome to Awakening With Brahma Kumaris. Welcome, Sister. Om Shanti. Om Shanti and welcome to Living Values. Thank you. I would like to read something. Compassion dissolves anger. Understanding why someone behaves the way they do Allows for forgiveness When they have mistreated you. Maybe they are insecure You had mentioned last time about insecurity. Maybe they are insecure or in pain Or maybe they even suffered some type of abuse in their lifetime. And you can see why they are the way they are. See the last line. And you can see why they are the way they are. Which means when we are able to see why they are the way they are. Then the question mark of why are they like this, starts getting eliminated. Is it practical? If a staff at home is not working but taking salary If the cook is not giving me food on time, but is sleeping. Can I say – The breakfast is not yet ready, let me see. No, they are not saying this line. Is it practical? Because anything which is not right or working, gets thrown away. We don’t even have time to get it repaired. We throw it away. Even a lighter gets thrown if it’s not working. Even if a gadget runs slow When my computer slows down, I get disturbed. Where do I have the time and patience today? I used the word patience I will not think about people. I will ask people to leave and replace them. If we want a perfect person You said you will expel this person and get someone in his place. Replacing instruments is fine but what about people? Replacing one instrument with another is easier. What about people? You might replace one stuff with another. What to do about children? You are right. What will you do about family? Or workplace? What will you do in your interactions with people throughout the day? Even if you replace your staff, the person who comes in next He will bring with him, the emotional baggage of Sanskars. But we don’t have the time to even think of our brothers and sisters Of what they are going through, or what their Sanskars are Look at this line – that we don’t have patience to sit and think of what they are going through. The whole day is spent in thinking what I am going through. We have time for that. They did this to me, they did that to me, she did this also… And then she did this… and then he did that… This is also thinking. We have time for it. How much time and energy are going into it? Then how can we say we don’t have time to think – What is going on within them, because of which they are behaving this way? If we take out even a little time To check who they are Why they are the way they are? – this line needs to be underlined. If we spend that little time to find out Why they are the way they are? Then we will save a lot of time Which we are wasting in thinking – Why are they like this with me? What we are thinking today is – Why did they do this to me? Why did they behave like this with me? First go and check why they are the way they are. They are not like that with me. They are like this. They are like this. When we see a certain Sanskar Which we don’t like We feel they did that only with me. If someone has a Sanskar of speaking lies When they lie to us we say – This person lied to me. This person didn’t do my work sincerely. This person said like this behind my back. It’s all about me. But is it not possible that Suppose I don’t like people who speak lies. If my own family members lie to me repeatedly I can always say – I don’t like people who lie. It’s not about – Why did they do like this to me? But I just don’t like people who lie. If you don’t like, what will you do about those relationships? I won’t understand when they are speaking the truth or lying. What will you do about those relationships and live with them? Just by saying – I don’t like such and such people. I will just talk to them about what is needed, not other things. But I will need to deal with them. This is important. Like we saw the other day, it is Kalyug. Everyone has different Sanskars. And we need to live with those people. If we have an alternative? Alternative to family, friends, relatives, people you work with? I’ll speak less and deal less with them. How many people will you distance yourself from? Even if you stay away from everyone, how will you stay away from your Sanskars? The thing which is disturbing us It is not their Sanskar. We don’t have that particular Sanskar which Helps us adjust with their Sanskars. So how many people can we stay away from? Why not we create that Sanskar? I don’t like this person, I move away from them. I don’t like them, I move away from them… This Sanskar is not right in this person, I move away. Is it not better that we create a Sanskar which Helps us live and work with all these people? If I don’t have that Sanskar such that I adjust with those people If it is not in me then where can I get it from? We need to create it isn’t it? That is the journey. What did we see? That every soul carries different Sanskars. Even I have certain Sanskars. So you adjust with me. Should we now go to other people and ask them to adjust? Let family members adjust with us. Otherwise I don’t want to talk to them. We will see the options. Let them adjust with me. Let them change. Or let them be alone. Then what are we doing to the whole unit? It means we are telling the whole unit which is the family, to get scattered. Either adjust with me, or become the way I want you to be Or go away. Or let everyone adjust. If everyone is to adjust, we should go and ask them to adjust. Or most important, let us adjust And the most beautiful part is, they are already adjusting. What do you feel – is it only we who are adjusting with others? Are others not adjusting with us? If they have a Sanskar which we do not like Is there no Sanskar in us which they don’t like? When I told this to one of my friends He said that he has learnt to adjust Perhaps my tolerance power has increased Or my self respect has finished Which of them is true? It’s an internal checking. If the mind is stable, then tolerance power has increased. If they are quiet externally but internally they feel disturbed And internally if they feel that they are being disrespected Then they are reducing their self respect. This is good. I understood. Checking happens with state of mind, not with words. All these are merely words – tolerance, respect, detachment, acceptance We have understood the meaning but where do we do the checking? Through state of mind. If pure, elevated, positive feeling and strength are present, then the state of mind will be stable. If there is even a slight disturbance, then it is not one of these words. Then it is definitely not one of these words. If we say we are tolerating But the mind is creating 10 questions Then it is not tolerance. It is possible that the other person is tolerating you. The other person is already tolerating you. The other person can say I don’t know whether I’m tolerating or my self respect is deteriorating One person may say it but the other person may be thinking about it. Important is, when we believe that we are adjusting What does it mean when we say we are adjusting? We are getting along with the other persons Sanskars. We are not finding their Sanskar to be right Yet we are getting along with them Accepting that they do have this Sanskar. But just like we are accepting their Sanskars Similarly they are also accepting our Sanskars All of us need to remember this. There is not just one who is adjusting with everyone else Everyone is adjusting with each other. It is just that, whose adjustment are we able to see? We can see only ours. Because we are able to see that this person’s Sanskar is not right, but I am having to tolerate. This person’s Sanskar is not right but I am having to tolerate. But what are my Sanskar which other people are having to tolerate or adjust? Are we checking that? And it is fine because everyone is adjusting with each other. Each of us needs to adjust, but with clarity. As the line said – why they are the way they are If we understand this Then we will not raise question mark in response to their Sanskars. We are able to see it that it is like this. Yes, it is going to be like this. Suppose you consider this tree. It is bent like this. That is the speciality of the personality of this tree. That is what that tree is. That is how it is. But when we look at it, if we create 10 questions Why is it like this? It should not be like this. Will any tree be like this? Tree needs to be straight, why is this bent? By creating these questions That tree will not change. It is said – is a date palm tree consider the tree? The dates are right on top and it doesn’t give shade. And the fruits are so far away from the ground. Which means we keep questioning everything. Will this tree change just because we are questioning it? We can stand here and keep thinking and speaking about it. Even if we say – Let it change very slightly, just this much. Let it not change much, I accept it. Let it just change slightly. Will it change? But what happens by our constant thinking about it is Our energy is depleting. Because we are creating waste thoughts. Suppose about somebody in my family, if I think If they speak a little less and softly, it will be so beautiful. I wish and hope so. So I am thinking this way about it. Why should this thinking deplete my energy? If you think – Why do they speak so much? They speak so much. I don’t even know if they are saying the truth or lying. Criticizing them. So energy is depleted in criticism. Most importantly, you are raising a question mark on their personality. If I say it behind their back, Why does he do that? I am so annoyed… Does my energy get depleted even then? I am not telling it to him but I am saying it behind his back. I am telling you about him. Does energy deplete even then? Yes, because you are not happy with that Sanskar. Let us say the same thing in a different way. This person speaks more. What will help him understand and become aware, so that he speaks less? We need to check our energy while saying that line. Which means we can send him blessings? Most important is to check whether I am disturbed while saying that line. Then it is energy depleting. My energy and also the energy I send. My energy is depleting. Suppose someone speaks more, says lies, or is not sincere We need to find a solution. What energy in me gets depleted? Suppose I say about my family members – they speak so much, they speak out of turn They don’t respect others, they spoil my reputation I don’t know when they will learn While you say all these things how is your mind? No matter what you said but the mind is disturbed. I am hurt and disturbed. What energy in me gets depleted? And what is the meaning of energy depleting? You are not contented and you are unhappy inside. You are not happy for those two minutes. So for 2 minutes you are unhappy. Which means the soul has moved away from its originality for 2 minutes. Original self of the soul is bliss. It is of purity. It is of unconditional love and acceptance. Even though it was for only 2 minutes, when we create such thoughts The soul has shifted from its originality. When something repeatedly shifts from its originality What happens to its power? For example, consider this body. Health is its originality. If for very small reasons, it keeps shifting from its originality If there is some ache, there is some pain, there is some illness So the body develops a disease. We need to talk about it to them We need to think about it and discuss it We need to give them advice. The same things are to be done. There is not much change outside. We need to do the same things. But what should be our energy? They do this very often. They need to change a little bit. With God’s blessings they can do it. With time they will have the realisation. We need to be detached from the effect of the emotion. By seeing them do something, when we get disturbed. That disturbance is depletion. What we need to say and do remains the same. With that, our energy will also be right And the energy going from us will also be right. God gives us a beautiful line If we need to give someone an advice, Then not just advice, but our advice and forgiveness need to go together. It means? It means we easily advise people. We tell them – Don’t do this, do that.
So we very easily give advice. While giving advice when is it that we are not forgiving them? Along with advice, what is the vibration going to them? It is either of criticism or anger Is advice given along with acceptance inside? Forgiveness means, as we saw last time Forgiveness means we liberated the soul. It means the best thing to do as per God’s guidelines for us That you first forgive the other person Stabilize your mind Thereafter, give advice. What is the logic in this? The other person will feel it also, that they are not criticizing but saying with love. With this what happens is, first of all the soul becomes peaceful. There is no disturbance here. So how is my vibration going to be? Very peaceful and very calm. And then I give an advice – Don’t do this, do it this way. What vibration radiated along with my advice? Peaceful. What is the model God is recommending? First you forgive and then give advice. What we do when someone does a mistake is, we advise them first. And after that we forgive them. Even during important business meetings My family members If they spoke out of turn or if they said anything wrong I would wait for that outsider to leave And then I would scold my family member very harshly, and even ask them why they did not remain silent. Why did you say it in front of him? I wanted something else. When nobody asked you, why did you speak? I would drag the matter for so long. It gets longer, because what is the vibration involved? But if we understand who they are, why they are that way It is their Sanskar and they find it right. It is their way of behaviour. They want to change but unable to do it right now. They will have a reason for it. The soul has lesser inner power. But because of what they said in the meeting, there could have been a loss. Where does a bigger loss than that, happen? The damage that had to happen externally has happened. That is not in anyone else’s control. It is only in that soul’s control. But the energy we created and radiated to that soul after the meeting. Won’t it create a bigger loss? We always look at the losses externally isn’t it? That here we incurred a loss. We are not looking at how much loss we are creating, here internally. We are so aware of the losses outside. But inside, we simply label that loss as normal. Forgiveness and then advise. In the incident you mentioned, you first give them advice You got a little disturbed, before advising them. You got disturbed, give advice, and then let go of the matter. Which means you forgave. So what was the order? First disturbed, then advised, and then forgave. I didn’t advise, I only criticized. You gave them direction or advise, but gave it with an energy of criticism. God teaches us to first offer forgiveness Which means we first clean our mind And then advice. God says that if we start forgiving There will not be a need to give advice. Forgiveness itself inspires their learning. Which means you send such powerful vibrations with your forgiveness That you are forgiveness itself inspires the other person to change. At least the other soul will start getting pure and elevated vibrations from us. At present what vibrations are they getting? Vibrations create transformation. Our vibrations can either bring about a positive change in the other person Or it can intensify that wrong Sanskar in the other person. This is very important. If you have a particular wrong Sanskar If I keep on criticizing that whether in words or in thoughts That Sanskar will keep aggravating in you. Because that is the energy which is going to you. But if we accept that Sanskar and forgive the other person If we create compassion Then the vibration that reaches the other person It will empower that person Using that power, the other person will change their Sanskar. We have to take care of what energy we are creating and radiating. We think we only have to take care of how we are behaving. We have to take care of what we are sending them. They are doing what they want to do. But what are we doing? So we need to be checking ourselves. But throughout the day we are checking other people. We say – Why are they doing this?
But what are we doing? What are we sending to them? You said – Why did they say that in a meeting in front of everyone? Okay. But after that why did I say what I said? Why did I react the way I reacted? Checking the self. So that, next time I will not repeat it. This is compassion for my own self. And compassion for the other person. We need to hold on to these two words together – forgiveness and advise. First is forgiveness and then comes advice. And forgiveness means cleaning our own mind and soul. Otherwise if we just sit and check our mind someday A lot would have got accumulated inside. Don’t you feel we have held on to things from so long back? Since lifetimes. Yes, we have held on since lifetimes. Those Sanskars keep getting intensified when they are held onto for so long. It is very important to delete. And then when we forgive, compassion becomes natural. Once we forgive Compassion becomes natural means, very good vibrations radiate to them from us. Today let us take anyone relationship. We will check any one relationship. Which means we will check our connection with anyone soul. Where, according to us, they have not treated us the right way. They have not behaved the right way with us. We tried a lot, but still they are not being right to us. So I have created pain several times. And I have held onto that pain. Today I have got the understanding That because of the pain I have held on to It is harming me, harming them, and harming our relationship. For how long more should we let the harm continue? For how long to endure loss after loss? If there is a loss in business That loss has happened. But can we afford loss after loss after loss? Loss has happened. It’s okay. It is like suppose we had borrowed money on interest. We incurred a loss there. We are having to pay interest. We need to return the principal amount. So much loss overall. Today we will need to switch that. Bad businessman. Today we will need to switch that. Our energy cannot go on depleting in this manner. Now we need to switch to Irrespective of what they did in the past What will happen in the future? We don’t know that. We are not thinking now about what will happen in future. Whatever they did in the past They had a reason for doing what they did. They are who they are, for a reason. Whether it is insecurity, whether it is abuse Whether it is something that happened in the past, whether there is some complexity in the mind There was some reason. There was some thought, some fear Because of which the other person is behaving like this. Today I release what I am holding, of the past. Then automatically your energy will flow from you to them. Let me and all of us try to release. We really need to do this today. Thank you so much. Om Shanti. Om Shanti. Thank you.